Dancing in Circles
by OctoberGirl82
Summary: Will and Alicia keep dancing around each other; appearances by most main characters, including some Peter/Alicia scenes, along with Alicia/Kalinda. Several updates to follow in the next few days; after that, maybe not so consistent.
1. Passion and Pain

Author's Note: I do not own The Good Wife or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them for the moment.

Title is taken from a song by Love and Theft.

I apologize if Alicia seems to go OOC at times – shades of my personality may be seeping into the story in places, so I apologize if that detracts from the story.

* * *

Late at night, it's lonely and I wonder how I'll ever get through. There's got to be somebody somewhere who's feeling it, too. ~ "Somebody's Needin' Somebody" by Conway Twitty

* * *

Will yanked viciously on his tie, nearly choked himself, then pulled the whole thing over his head and flung it at the wall. Why had he agreed to go to this dinner party, anyway?

Alicia. It was always for Alicia. She'd hesitantly asked him to come, and he couldn't say no. He'd _never_ been much good at saying no to her. With a frustrated sigh, he began again with the tie. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Alicia barely managed to hold back tears of frustration as she fussed one last time over her makeup. Why had she asked Will to the party?

She needed him here. It was selfish, she knew, but she needed one person at the table tonight to be unconditionally on her side. She knew how hurt he was that she still hadn't left Peter, but he didn't know the whole story. She hadn't had a chance to explain her end of the deal with Eli Gold, so Will didn't know she felt handcuffed to the sham of a marriage she had with Peter, at least through the election.

Disgusted with her weakness which caused her to drag Will into this dinner, she took a final look in the mirror. After two hours, Peter still hadn't noticed the killer red dress she'd bought. Would Will? Alicia shook her head. She had to stop this – but every time she tried, she was reminded of how much Will meant to her, and how little Peter did.

* * *

Tie finally in place, Will took one last look in the mirror. He knew bringing Giada to the dinner was pushing it, but he needed to lash out at Alicia in some way. Just four weeks ago, Alicia had asked him about their relationship, and a short time later, he finally had the nerve to tell her he wanted to give them a shot. Then she had turned on him again, saying he needed a plan, because of her kids, her husband. What did she expect from him? He'd never met her kids; he couldn't get rid of her husband, though he would like to. Will slammed his fist into the wall and took a perverse pleasure in the throbbing pain. She had him tied up in knots and his hopes for anything beyond friendship were fading fast.

* * *

Alicia had just put the last of the place cards on the table when she heard Peter greet their first guests. A flurry of arrivals followed, including Will and Giada.

"Good evening." Alicia played the good hostess, trying not to scratch out the law student's eyes. But Alicia knew it was her fault; she hadn't laid claim to Will when she had a chance. She'd been scared and her 'plan' speech was a hastily built wall designed to buy her more time. Although it seemed that time was _not_ on Alicia's side.

* * *

He couldn't help it; even though he knew Giada was already suspicious of his relationship with Alicia, he couldn't stop staring at her in that red dress. He kept his hands tucked in his pockets during drinks; his left hand was bruised and beginning to swell. It was also a good excuse _not_ to drink. Although he couldn't help but notice that Alicia had already downed two glasses of wine and as hard as she tried, she couldn't seem to keep her eyes off him.

* * *

Damn it! Asking him here had been a mistake. Pushing him away had been a mistake. Everything she'd done lately seemed to be a mistake and she hadn't had more than three hours sleep every night since the press conference. She lifted her glass for another gulp of wine but found it empty. Again. She dropped the glass off in the kitchen and sought the shelter of her room. Maybe a few minutes of peace could clear her head, and besides, Peter hadn't even spoken to her since the party began.

* * *

Will saw Alicia disappear down the hall. He took a moment to introduce Giada to some acquaintances, then excused himself. Something was wrong for Alicia to flee the party like that, but even as angry and hurt as he was, he couldn't ignore the feeling that something just wasn't right.

* * *

Alicia was seated on her bed, staring at the wall, when she heard the door creak open. Assuming it was Peter, she squeezed her eyes shut and heard the door close. She sighed in relief just before someone sat down beside her.

"Hi."

Alicia's eyes darted sideways and she turned to the left, while the wine she'd drunk made the room spin. "Will."

"Are you okay?"

She turned away again. "No."

* * *

She looked so _defeated_. It broke his heart to see her like that. Carefully, he covered her hand with his. "It's all right.

They both knew he was lying. "No, Will, it's not. I haven't been fair to you, running hot and cold on whether we should start something, then asking you here after…"

"I know." He reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from her eyes and their gazes met.

* * *

"Why did you come here tonight?"

"To the party, or to this room?"

"Both."

"For you. You asked me to the party, and I was worried when you came back here alone."

"Will, I…I can't give you what you want right now. I owe Eli too much. I'd ask you for time, but maybe you're better off with Giada." She struggled not to cry, but a tear slid down her cheek anyway.

"No, I'm not. She's not you. I need you."

And at that, Will gathered a sobbing Alicia into his arms. They were trapped, and neither could see a way out.

* * *

Eventually, Alicia pulled away. "We should get back."

Will's arms felt strangely empty without her in them. "Sure." As he watched her touch up her makeup, he was hit with a vision of what they could be like, together, and his heart hurt. He wasn't sure they'd ever get there. With a sigh, he left to find Giada.

* * *

Alicia returned to the party minutes later. She wasn't sure how she managed to appear calm and in control, but she suspected she was becoming quite the actress. Mingling with her guests, she studiously managed to avoid Will and Giada until dinner.

Unfortunately, Giada managed to manhandle the conversation throughout the meal. Most of the men, including Peter, seemed enamored with her, but Alicia caught Will shooting her apologetic glances over his date's head.

She wasn't sure what was worse – listening to the babbling bimbo, or sitting beside her husband but reveling in the knowledge that Giada meant nothing to Will.

* * *

Dinner couldn't be over fast enough, in Will's opinion. Giada's behavior mortified him, and he wanted nothing more than to be free of her as soon as possible.

After finally extricating themselves from the Florrick apartment, Will drove toward Giada's place.

"So, you wanna come in tonight?" He still hadn't been inside her apartment, and Giada was losing her patience.

"Not tonight, but thanks."

She crossed her arms and pouted sulkily for a minute. "Will, what did you disappear for before dinner?" She hadn't missed the fact that Alicia was absent from the room at the same time.

"Personal matter." He couldn't help being short with her.

When he said no more, Giada got angry. "Are you having an affair with her?"

Will was outwardly calm as he deliberately pulled the car to the side of the road in front of her building, but his teeth were clenched so tightly his jaw was already beginning to ache. "No, I am not having an affair with Alicia."

"Oh, really? It certainly looks like you are. You stared at her all night, which was awfully damned rude." When Will didn't answer, she continued, "So that's how it is. She still won't give you the time of day, even after her husband's dalliances with the prostitute? Will, you're pathetic."

Although he hadn't hit a girl since he pushed Missy Watkins on the playground in first grade, Will really wanted to slap that smirk off her face. "Goodbye, Giada."

When the door slammed, he tore off, not sure where he was headed, but he really didn't care.

* * *

It was only nine-thirty when the party broke up, but Alicia was exhausted. When Peter left to grab a drink at a nearby bar with a few of their guests, Alicia ignored the mess for once and headed for her room. She changed into an old T-shirt and settled into bed just before her phone rang.

She glanced at it before picking up. "Kalinda? Everything okay?"

"How'd it go tonight?" Kalinda knew about the sticky situations in Alicia's life, and she knew her co-worker was in desperate need of a friend.

"It was a total disaster."

"He brought that student, didn't he?"

Alicia sighed. "Of course." Alicia went on to relate the events of the evening.

"Come out with me tomorrow night. We'll go somewhere loud and dance and drink, so you can get your mind off this mess."

"That sounds great." Kalinda named a time and place, and Alicia promised to meet her there. She hung up and tried to sleep, but thoughts of Will plagued her until the wee hours of the morning.

* * *

It was late by the time Will returned home. He'd driven aimlessly for an hour to calm down, then he'd contemplated calling one of the numerous women he knew who would likely welcome his company. Eventually, he discarded that thought as well and simply headed home.

He'd turned off his phone, shortly after dropping Giada off, and left it that way when he went to bed, even though he ached to hear Alicia's voice one more time before falling asleep. Life was hard enough without stolen late night phone calls making things worse.


	2. Girls' Night Out

I wanted to forget him, just like I know I should, and I know I should. I didn't want to see him, but I hoped I would. ~ "I Didn't Want to See Him" by Marty Slayton

* * *

The next day dragged by in a fog. Peter had offered to stay home to keep an eye on the kids while Alicia went out with Kalinda, but Alicia felt the angry and confused sidelong glances he kept tossing her way. She didn't think he believed she was going out with Kalinda, so when her friend called as Alicia was fixing her hair, she took the call into the living room so Peter could overhear the female voice on the other end of the line.

About thirty minutes later, she was finally ready to go. She wished everyone good night and walked out. She had to catch a cab because once she and Kalinda were done, she would certainly not be in a condition to drive home. Alicia was looking forward to it.

* * *

Will spent all day working. He and Diane were shouldering as much as they could as the firm dealt with all the staff cutbacks, but by seven, he'd had enough. He had to get out of the house. After quickly deciding on his destination he changed and headed out to try to forget his troubles on the bar scene.

* * *

Kalinda had beaten Alicia to the bar and she'd nabbed two stools in the corner furthest from the band. As always, the other woman looked fabulous and Alicia glanced self-consciously at her royal blue silk tank top and black skirt.

"Alicia!" Kalinda waved her over. "You look great."

"So do you." Alicia took her seat. "Starting on the tequila early, I see?" Two freshly poured shots sat between them on the bar.

Kalinda smiled. "I thought you might need one to loosen up enough to hit the dance floor."

"Oh, I think it will take more than one for that."

"We'll see." And the two settled in to enjoy girls' night out.

* * *

The first hotspot Will hit was overrun with giggling women at a bachelorette party. He took a seat across the room, intending to indulge in a whiskey or two, alone, but the ladies had other ideas. Two of them approached him and took turns cajoling him out onto the dance floor. Eventually, it was simply easier to agree than to continue to fight them.

He was surprised at how much fun he was having surrounded by the bachelorettes, and when they asked him to accompany them to their next stop, he didn't even think about it. He joined them in their limo and headed for the next location.

* * *

By her third drink, Alicia, who was feeling a bit mean-spirited, had begun to crack jokes about Giada. Kalinda, of course, egged her on. She could see that the way Alicia felt about Will was more than a passing fancy, but Alicia was caught between what she was expected to do and what she wanted to do.

Once Alicia ran out of law student remarks, Kalinda set her glass down and turned to the other woman. "Why don't you just leave him, Alicia?"

Startled, Alicia almost dropped her glass. "It's complicated, Kalinda." The standard answer had slipped out before Alicia had a chance to think about it.

"Why? You're tied up in knots like a lovestruck teenager with Will. And besides, there's more to Peter's questionable activities than I think you know."

"It's not just that. There's the kids, and now I owe Eli, and…" Why were these words coming out of her mouth? Were they really valid excuses to stay with a man who had betrayed her?

"Your life can't always be about everyone else, Alicia." From the set expression on Alicia's face, Kalinda felt that the subject was closed, but inside, Alicia's heart was churning. Kalinda beckoned the bartender over and asked for two more drinks, waiting for the atmosphere to return to its original lightheartedness.

* * *

As the group entered the next bar, Will excused himself for a moment and walked down a deserted hallway. His phone had buzzed earlier and an irrational part of him hoped it was Alicia. When he saw it was only a text from Kalinda, he nearly stuffed the phone back in his pocket, but changed his mind at the last second.

"At O'Toole's. Come by."

What the hell was that about? She would have called if it was work related. If she had info for him, it could wait until Monday. But what if? As he contemplated the possibilities, the phone buzzed again.

"It's important. Hurry."

Well, now he had no choice. On his way out, he waved goodbye to the bachelorettes and hurried to a nearby cab.

* * *

Kalinda slipped her phone back into her purse just before Alicia returned. She stumbled a little while climbing onto her stool. "You okay?"

"Um-hmm. Wanna dance?"

"Maybe in a bit. I think you need to slow down a minute, first."

Before Alicia could protest, a pair of good-looking guys, who had both clearly been drinking for some time, interrupted.

"Can we join you?" asked the blond, already sliding onto the stool beside Alicia. The dark haired guy tried to slip an arm around Kalinda, but the icy glare she turned on him backed him up a few steps.

"No, thanks." Icicles hung from Kalinda's words, but the blond wasn't deterred.

"What about you, pretty lady? Come on, let's dance."

As the guy reached for Alicia's hand to tug her off her stool, Alicia shot Kalinda a panicked glance. A small smile crossed Kalinda's face and Alicia followed her gaze to the man headed their way.

"Sorry, man. She's been waiting for me." Will smoothly wrapped his arms around Alicia, effectively cutting her off from the other man and keeping her from falling. The suddenly genuine smile on Alicia's face made it clear the blond was in the wrong place.

"I get it. Later." And he and his friend walked off.

* * *

Will knew he was taking advantage of the situation when he held Alicia even after the unwanted suitors had disappeared, but he'd seen the way her face lit up in joy and surprise when he'd 'rescued' her.

"Will! What are you doing here?" Alicia had her back to Kalinda and didn't see the discreet 'hush' signal she passed to Will.

"I thought it was time to try out my superhero costume and save a lady in distress." He grinned and reluctantly released his hold on her. Now that he really had time to look at her, he was shocked. The V-neck top revealed more cleavage than he'd known Alicia to show since college, and the skirt was much too short to belong to any of her conservative work outfits. No wonder that guy had been hitting on her! "Besides, the last place I tried had been taken over by a bachelorette party."

"Really? Maybe if we were there, Kalinda would let me dance."

* * *

Alicia heard herself sounding like a spoiled teenager but couldn't stop.

"_Let_ you dance?" asked Will.

Kalinda laughed. "Will, ten minutes ago, she could barely sit on her stool without help. I thought sobering up a little might make dancing less dangerous."

* * *

Will could see what Kalinda has orchestrated. Knowing that an inebriated Alicia would have her guard down, Kalinda had summoned him, probably just to see what might happen. Unfortunately, it put Will in an incredibly uncomfortable spot – should he stay and see what happened, or should he go and hope Alicia wouldn't read him wrong?


	3. Falling Angel?

Somebody's gonna hurt someone before the night is through. Somebody's gonna come undone; there's nothin' we can do. ~ "Heartache Tonight" by The Eagles

* * *

Alicia wasn't at her best, but she still caught the deer-in-the-headlights look that flashed across Will's face and she was acutely aware of the physical distance between them. Mentally shoving the angel off her shoulder, she slid her phone to Kalinda and grabbed an astonished Will's hand. "We'll be back in a bit."

As they headed for the dance floor, Will tugged her to a stop. "Alicia, what's going on?"

* * *

Will was shocked by Alicia's forcefulness as she pulled him towards the dance floor. Socially, she'd always been content to follow him at Georgetown, a pattern that continued after she married Peter. However, he was convinced the alcohol had fueled her behavior so he needed to find out Alicia's real intentions, not those borne on tequila shots or vodka martinis.

"We're gonna dance." Alicia's brow furrowed at his reluctance. "Don't you dance anymore?"

"I do. Do you?" Will could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen Alicia on a dance floor, and she had been drunk every time.

"I do now." Alicia sighed. "A lot of things can change in almost twenty years, Will." A ballad began to play and suddenly Alicia's desperate eyes were pleading with him. "Please, Will?" And once again, he was powerless to tell her no.

* * *

Still somewhat shell-shocked by her own behavior, she felt Will's hands settle at her waist, and she was instantly reminded of the awkward slow dances at her eighth grade graduation party. Instinctively, she closed the gap between them and put her cheek against his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her, much like they had minutes before, and she heard him sigh gently.

Something in the lyrics of a standard love-gone-wrong song soon had tears stinging Alicia's eyelids and she bit her lip to force her emotions back under control.

* * *

Will felt her stiffen in his arms and he could tell she was fighting an internal battle. Slowly, he slid one hand up and down along her spine, hoping to at least comfort her if he could be of no other help. She settled against him again, but just for a moment, then she pulled away. Before her name passed his lips in question, she'd grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss that lasted several heart-stopping moments. Realizing what she'd done, she pulled away a second time and hurried back to where Kalinda still sat.

* * *

By the time Will has collected himself, Alicia was already trying to escape, but Kalinda was attempting to talk her down. Will gave them space for a few minutes, but he could still hear their conversation.

"I have to go."

"No, you don't. You're just scared."

"Of course, and in case you've forgotten, I'm still married!"

"Give me a break. You know you don't belong with Peter anymore." Having stepped on shaky ground, Kalinda decided to pull back a bit. "Look, we'll forget about the dancing and we'll just sit here and talk, okay?"

Alicia looked like she was about to refuse, but since she didn't want to go home, she promptly changed her mind. "Okay." She climbed back up onto her stool and Kalinda beckoned for Will to join them.

* * *

How had everything spiraled out of control in less than fifteen minutes? Will's head was spinning, but he hadn't had enough to drink to blame it on alcohol.

"I should probably go."

"No, sit down. You haven't even had a drink yet," said Kalinda.

He looked askance at Alicia, who was laboriously ignoring him and playing with an empty shot glass.

"Okay." Will moved to the seat beside Kalinda and ordered whiskey. He and Kalinda chatted about mundane topics for a few minutes and Will belted his first drink, then quickly asked for another.

After about ten minutes of silence from Alicia, Kalinda rolled her eyes and asked, "So, Will, how did you and Alicia meet?" Kalinda was well aware they'd gone to school together, but she thought the question might bring Alicia back from whatever mental time-out corner her guilty conscience had sent her to. She was right.

* * *

Georgetown. Memories of the moment in question had been touched on weeks earlier with Will, but Alicia had tried to stuff them back into the 'forgotten' box. However, she'd never really forgotten any of the important moments in her relationship with Will.

She wrapped her hands around the mug of coffee she'd just asked for and, before Will could answer, said, "It was a pool party at law school orientation." She risked a look at him and saw nostalgia in his eyes. "Will was the life of the party." She sipped the coffee and continued, "I'm convinced that the six girls who quit after first year only stayed that long because of him."

Will remained silent, but he knew what Alicia meant. It had taken only a few weeks for word to spread that Will Gardner's door was more like a turnstile and no girl ever stayed more than one or two nights. A few of their classmates had made a sport of attempting to shatter that theory; they'd all failed miserably.

"So Will's always been a playboy?" Kalinda's query pulled both of them from the clouds of their memories.

Alicia's laugh was forced. "Yeah."

"Hey, I'm a changed man!"

After considering for a moment, Kalinda's "You have been off-limits for quite a while," supported him.

Alicia pushed away her reaction to that news. "I really wanted to dislike him, but some part of me knew there must be more to him than the adorable, skirt-chasing charmer I met at that party."

Will's expression softened as a memory of a twenty-two year old Alicia formed in his mind. "Well, Miss Perfect, I wasn't so sure about you, either. I picked up a teacher's pet vibe from you that made me think you'd be uptight and no fun."

But just days into the semester, they'd gotten past those ill-formed first impressions, and they'd been inseparable for much of the next two years.

"Good thing we gave each other a second chance." Alicia saw the multiple meanings in Will's dark eyes as he said it.

"Although if we hadn't, our classmates would have been more successful in mock trials." And with a smile, they found a steady ground beneath their feet. For now, the blossoming relationship might need to be put away, but this friendship, even through their worst moments, had always been so easy. They just hoped it could stay that way.

* * *

Another hour passed in companionable chatter and comfortable teasing, before Alicia decided to head home. Will, ever careful with her, walked her out to make sure she found a cab. While they waited, Alicia whispered an apology.

Will turned to face her and tipped her chin up so she looked in his eyes, not at her shoes. "What are you sorry for? The dance and the kiss? Or running away?"

Alicia sighed. "For having to run away. I shouldn't have started it, knowing it couldn't go anywhere."

"Dammit, Alicia! You know I would've gone anywhere you asked. You just have to decide what you want." The cab arrived then and the conversation couldn't continue.

With tears in her eyes and a heavy heart, Alicia said, "Goodbye, Will. I'll see you Monday," slid inside the cab, and disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Back inside, Will asked for another drink and knocked it back with one gulp. From the stool beside him, Kalinda asked softly, "You okay?"

Will's mirthless laugh was short and pained. "I just put her in a cab to send her back to her lying, cheating _husband_."

Kalinda groaned. This was not the outcome she'd envisioned when she asked Will to join them. "She's scared, Will. She puts on her unreadable, conquer-the-world face, but it's still there." After a deep breath, she plunged forward, trying to find out what Alicia had never told her. "She also seems more tentative with you than I would expect from a grown woman who's clearly crazy about you. What happened between you to make her that way? Is it recent, or does this reach back to law school?"

To Kalinda's utter shock, Will dropped his face into his hands. Apparently, Alicia was solid, confident, unshakeable Will's Achilles heel, and Kalinda was amazed. She hadn't been sure how deep his feelings for Alicia went before tonight, but knowing the effect this night was having on him, Kalinda could tell he needed Alicia as much as Alicia needed him.

"She should never have been single when she met Peter."

* * *

He couldn't believe he was telling Kalinda this. Oh, well, now that he'd started…

"We were friends at Georgetown. At first, I didn't think she was my type – as a young and stupid male, I went for the flashy, easy marks. By the time I saw my mistake, we were best friends, and I was afraid to mess that up. As time went on, I realized she was just as ready to take a shot as I was, but by then, it was the end of second year, and I was spending the summer here while she was in D.C. While I was here, she met and started dating Peter."

"But why would that…"

He cut off Kalinda's question. "I let her think I didn't want her, and she witnessed the girls coming and going from my life for almost two years. If I'd just told her, we could've made it."

"Will." Kalinda put her hand on his knee to get his attention. "You don't know that it would've worked then, and you don't know that it won't now. If you can find a way to settle down our skittish girl, I think you've got a chance."

He looked up, a glimmer of hope showing on his defeated face. It was unlike Kalinda to be so supportive. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Thanks, Kalinda. I need a little faith sometimes."


	4. Broken

**Author's Note** - Sorry about the lag in putting up new chapters. I've been on vacation and it hasn't been conducive to properly editing anything, so I had two chapters typed, but in need of proof-reading all week. Hopefully, you're still out there enjoying the story!

* * *

Do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same? You say that the past is the past; you need one chance, it was a moment of weakness and you said yes. You should've said no. ~ "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift (Sorry, guys…this one just works best here.)

* * *

All the way home, Alicia kept hearing Kalinda's words in her ears – "You don't belong with Peter," "Why don't you just leave him?" and "Can't always be about everyone else," played on repeat. As she finally managed to block out her friend's voice, she was blindsided by Will's face and his frustration with her. She shook her head, trying to clear it, and realized she was home.

She paid the driver but made no move to exit the car. "Miss, are you okay?" But her conscience was battling her heart and she didn't even hear the driver's question. "Miss?"

Coming to her senses as her resolve hardened, she handed the man another five. "I'm sorry. Have a nice evening." And she stepped out of the cab.

Upstairs, Peter was still awake and waiting for her. She could tell from one quick look at his face that he was hoping for a repeat of the night months earlier when she'd ambushed him in his room. One look at her face told Peter he wouldn't get it. Calm, even-tempered Alicia looked like she was about to explode in anger.

Hands on her hips, she stalked toward him as he stood in the middle of the living room. "Why'd you do it, Peter?"

"Alicia, what's…"

"No, Peter, tell me why you cheated. Wasn't I enough for you? Wasn't our family important enough to you?"

Defensive now, Peter took a step back. "You know she didn't mean anything to me. I don't, and didn't, love her."

"It matters to me!" Her voice had been escalating and now she was screaming at him, something she really hadn't done in all the months since Peter's betrayal had come to light. "I can barely look at you now; I can't stand for you to touch me. Every time you do, I can only think about those god-awful tapes on the news, and knowing what you did behind my back."

"Please, Alicia, it's over, just let it…"

"Let it go? Peter, I can't erase what's in my head. If I could, I wouldn't remember how your whore's voice sounds, or how you sounded with her. Don't tell me to let it go, Peter."

"I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out all this."

Now, with blatant hatred snapping in her eyes, she advanced on Peter until his back was to the wall. "Of course you didn't. It was going to be all about Peter playing the happy family man with his clueless wife before running off to rendezvous with his prostitute. God, Peter! And you still have no idea what you've done. The only reason you're sorry is because you got _caught_."

As quickly as her anger came on, it evaporated and her shoulders slumped as she realized what this outburst meant. Peter took this as an invitation to reach for her, but she shrugged his arms away. When she spoke again, her voice was eerily calm. "It's over, Peter. I can't do this anymore. We can remain married until the election is over, but after that, you're on your own."

"No, Alicia, you can't mean that. We can fix this."

"It's too late. I spent our _entire_ marriage worrying about what you wanted, only to find out you wanted a Barbie doll tramp. Now, it's time to worry about me."

Hurt and worried that his best hope for winning the election was walking away, Peter fired back, thinking he could guilt her into changing her mind. "Which one of them is behind this?"

"Excuse me?" Before Peter spoke, she had turned to walk away. Now she spun back to face him.

"Who's behind this? Kalinda or Will?"

"Neither one of them, Peter, I'm a grown woman capable of making my own decisions. I finally realized I was hiding from myself, trying to save this sham of a marriage, and I'm _tired_. I'm tired of working so hard to forgive you when you barely acknowledged you made a mistake, when you act like it shouldn't bother me at all. I'm tired from keeping our family afloat while you were in jail, and now, while you're running for office again. I can't do it anymore. I trusted you, Peter, and now I just can't. It's not fair to continue the farce – not to the kids, to you, to _me_. I'm not the same person I was before I found out about her, and I can't go back now."

"It's not a farce. My God, Alicia, I love you!"

Alicia just stared for a moment, wondering how she ever thought she knew this man. "No, you don't," she said, shaking her head. "You need me, to complete your public image. If you really loved me, you would never have put our family in the situation we've lived through this year. But you know the worst of it? Even after all the hell you've put me through, a small part of me still loves you, even though the rest of me wants to hate you for what you did. That little flame has kept me here, but it's not enough anymore. We're too far gone."

In the ensuing silence, Peter just watched as she walked into her room and firmly closed the door. The click of the lock made him flinch, and he finally began to realize what his 'little' fling had cost.

* * *

Will and Kalinda remained at the bar for another hour, then decided to call it a night. As they parted ways, Will said, "Thanks, Kalinda."

The woman almost snorted. "If I hadn't texted you, you could've enjoyed a drama-free night out."

"True, but it would have been Alicia-free as well. And talking to you helped, too."

"Anytime, Will." And they each headed home, along.

* * *

Locked in her room, Alicia couldn't believe what she'd just done. She had no intention of taking it back, but she was shocked at the ferocity with which the words had tumbled out of her mouth. Finally, everything she'd wanted to say to Peter, and some things she _hadn't _known she wanted to say, just gushed out all at once. She thought she should feel bad, but she was simply relieved. Holding on to that anger and pain had been a leaden weight on her overburdened shoulders and now she felt like she could breathe again. No, life wasn't going to be a sunny walk in the park, but at least maybe she was finally getting out of the rain.

* * *

On the other side of the door, Peter was trying to plan his next move, completely unsure how to attack the wall Alicia has so solidly erected between them. Helplessness, a feeling foreign to Peter, overwhelmed him when he saw no immediate solution, so he broke down and called Eli.

Alicia heard all this, and she had to suppress a laugh, even though she certainly wasn't in a humorous mood. Her overconfident, swaggering husband could find no words of his own to stop her from leaving, so he'd check with his handler, as if he thought Eli's words would change how she felt.

Eli. Oh, hell. He'd completely slipped her mind during the tirade of the last minutes. What if he yanked his business from the firm? But he couldn't do that until after the election, if she remained with Peter that long, as she'd offered.

But did she want to spend that much more time waiting for her freedom? There were so many other things Alicia wanted – the chance to pursue her career on her own terms, freedom from the fishbowl political life, if she could find it, distance from the man who had hurt her so deeply and humiliated her in front of the whole city.

Alicia began pacing the room like a caged animal, the choices warring within her brain. She spent more than two hours in that turmoil, until realizing she'd made her choice. Looking at the clock, not fully comprehending the quarter-to-three she saw there, she changed into jeans and a soft sweater – although it was summer, it was still cool out this early in the morning – and tugged on her tennis shoes. Even as early as it was, some things just couldn't wait.


	5. Defying Gravity

Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap. ~ "Defying Gravity" from _Wicked_

* * *

Will rolled over and rubbed his eyes. Six a.m.? Why was he awake?

Tap, tap, tap.

Honestly, could there really be someone at his door at this hour? He grabbed his phone to see if he'd missed any urgent calls only to find his phone was off. He punched the power button and staggered out of bed to look out the window of his townhouse. A dark-haired figure stood on his porch shifting from one foot to the other.

The phone began to beep and he looked down to see seven messages. Uh-oh. Worry coursed through him and the last vestiges of sleep fled as he began to check the missed calls. _Alicia_. Three-thirty, four, four-forty, five-ten, five-thirty, five-forty-three, six-oh-one…

Without further thought, Will flew down the stairs and threw open the front door, startling the individual on the other side. "Alicia? What's wrong?"

She turned to face him and he could see she was chilled, along with upset – tear tracks marked her beautiful face. "Will."

"Come in!" He stepped aside to let her in. "What happened? How long have you been out there? My phone was off, or I would have answered." She didn't respond. "Alicia?"

She felt like a teenager, unable to take her eyes off him, but it had been at least seventeen years since she'd seen Will in so few clothes. It was a welcome sight for the woman who'd been fantasizing about him for months.

Will caught her staring and looked down to find he was only wearing his boxers. "Oh, um, I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable." And he hurried back upstairs to pull on some sweats and a T-shirt.

* * *

By the time Will returned to his living room, Alicia had kicked off her shoes and was perusing the handful of photos in the room. At the sound of his footsteps, she turned to face him.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this." He noticed she'd wiped away the traces of tears he'd spotted moments before. "I just needed to see you, and I didn't think, and then once I was here, it was too late to go home…"

"How long have you been out there?" Will was baffled by this completely un-Alicia-like behavior.

"Awhile." She ducked her head. "Since a little after three."

"You've just been sitting out there for three hours?" Will realized yelling was probably not the right tactic and he softened his words. "Why would you do that?" He refused to speculate on her presence.

"I did a lot of thinking tonight, and some talking, some yelling. After two hours of pacing, I realized I couldn't get you out of my head, and I needed to see you. So I left a note, called a cab, and came here. Only then did I realize how absurd I was being, but I couldn't talk myself off your porch."

Still not quite following, Will asked, "Why were you crying?"

"Oh, you noticed?" Her cheeks tinged pink and she looked down at the floor before raising her head to lock eyes with Will. "I expect that's common when a woman tells her husband she's leaving him."

Will just stared at her, unable to breathe. He had to have heard her wrong, right?

* * *

By six-thirty, Peter had given up wrestling with the elusive ghost known as sleep. He'd managed to doze several times but nothing substantial as he continued to worry about Alicia's declarations of the night before.

He decided to make an elaborate breakfast in an attempt to buy time to change her mind, if she hadn't already reconsidered. When he walked into the kitchen, he was greeted by a slip of paper on the counter, and something else that made his blood run cold.

* * *

"You what?"

"I told Peter our marriage is over. We still have to hash out the details, but, well," and she held up her hand.

Thirty seconds of complete silence ensued as Will gaped at her hand, bare of any jewelry. "So you, uh…"

It was amazing how easily two eloquent, intelligent lawyers could be reduced to stammering. "I left it with the note." They both knew she meant the ring.

"Are you, I mean, are you sure about this? You were crying."

She sighed softly. "The crying was partially for what he and I lost, and partially because the longer I stood on your porch, the more I worried that I had waited too long to take charge of my own life."

Finally pulling himself together, Will strode toward her and took her hands in his. "I want you to be happy. Is this really what you want? I don't want you making any decisions just because I wanted you to realize I won't be toyed with."

"Something Kalinda said last night just made me recognize that I need to think about myself once in a while. Staying with Peter, after everything he's done, was killing me, and I finally began to remedy the situation." Alicia smiled at him, then, and said, "The new and improved Alicia."

"There was nothing wrong with you before, except perhaps a case of misplaced loyalty."

Before she could respond, they both heard her phone begin to ring.

* * *

At first, Peter was paralyzed by the sight of the simple wedding band. When he finally read the note, he didn't learn much, just that Alicia hadn't changed her mind, and had gone out for awhile. Regardless, he knew where she'd gone – he just didn't know if she'd admit to it. Furious, he grabbed his phone and called her.

* * *

"Don't answer it."

She knew it was difficult for him to ask, and just as hard for her to refuse him, but she had to pick up. "I'm sorry." Lifting the phone to her ear, she said, "What is it, Peter?"

Even knowing she'd put an end to things with Peter, Will was shocked by how icy Alicia's tone was. A lot had changed in less than twelve hours – just last night, she'd been half-heartedly trying to justify remaining in her marriage to Kalinda, and now she was standing in Will's living room, talking on the phone with the man she now planned to divorce.

Peter's voice was too low for Will to make out what he was saying, but he saw Alicia tense up immediately. "Peter, don't…" "No, that's not right." Silent tears began to seep from her eyes. "It's none of your business, but no…"

"Fine. I'll be back in half-an-hour." Sighing, she dropped her phone back in her bag. "I have to go before he starts filling the kids' heads with lies."

"Alicia?" Will stepped forward and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "Are you still through? Do you want to be?"

"What?" Distracted by the feel of his fingers on her face, she couldn't think. "I'm not going back to him. This is for my kids' sake, not his." She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm ready to move on – I just wanted to tell you first."

Gently, with one hand still caressing her cheek, he leaned in and kissed her. A jolt of electricity hit them both as her bag dropped to the floor and her arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. This time, he was the one to pull away.

"You'd better go. I don't want this to jeopardize your relationship with Zach and Grace."

"Will, I don't know how long it will be before you and I can give us a proper try – that is, if you even want to. I just want you to know that I do want to be with you."

His smile said everything she needed to know. "I'll be here, Alicia, when the time is right. Now go home to your kids." She smiled back while slipping her shoes back on and calling a cab.

"Thanks, Will – for everything." And then she was gone, but Will couldn't quit smiling.


	6. Purgatory

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took so long to get a new chapter up; I felt like I was writing myself into a corner and wanted to figure out how to fix it before putting up anything new. Let me know what you think of how it's going so far!

* * *

I stood by his side and promised that I'd love him until the day I died. Lord, please forgive me, even though I lied, 'cause you're the only one who knows just how hard I tried. ~ "Ring On Her Finger, Time On Her Hands" by Reba McEntire

* * *

For the next few weeks, Alicia felt like she was living the movie _Groundhog Day_. She and Peter argued almost constantly in private but she continued to play the good wife's role in public. The kids were wary of everyone now that they realized Peter's actions had hurt their mother enough to dissolve the marriage. And to top it off, work was so busy that she rarely had time for more than a quick hello to Will and Kalinda. Once again, Alicia felt isolated and she was counting the days until she could be free of her self-imposed restrictions, which she planned to uphold until the divorce papers were signed.

Peter, however, viewed the situation as a sort of victory – the longer he kept her tied to him, the more likely he was to talk her out of the divorce entirely.

* * *

"What's this?" Alicia picked up the foil wrapped box on the counter.

"Dad left it for you," answered Grace.

Alicia sighed. It had been a long day and she wasn't in the mood for any more of Peter's tricks. She ripped the paper off of what was obviously a jewelry box and flipped open the lid. Nestled inside the box, a gorgeous pair of emerald earrings sparkled crazily. A small card was wedged in the side of the box.

"Alicia,

I know these won't absolve me of all the pain I caused you, but I want you to know I'll make it up to you somehow.

Love,

Peter"

Alicia shredded the card into confetti after dropping the jewelry box back onto the counter. She was a good judge of jewelry quality and she knew they didn't have the cash for such an extravagant gift. Someone in Peter's posse, probably Eli, must have bought the earrings. Angry, she stalked toward her room and phoned Eli.

"Alicia! I was just about to call you. We need to…"

"Stop. Eli, these expensive gifts will stop. I've already had it out with Daniel about buying off the kids. Don't think you can step in to his shoes."

"What are you talking about?"

Alicia was taken aback. Eli really sounded clueless. "The earrings? Peter left me a pair of emerald earrings that I know we don't have money for."

"I have no idea where those came from."

As Eli sounded sincere, Alicia apologized and hung up. She immediately checked the bank and credit card accounts online, but none showed any activity outside of the norm. What had Peter done this time?

* * *

Work at Lockhart, Gardner continued as before, but at an even more frenetic pace. Will was buried under a collection of jury trials, and while he enjoyed the challenge, he wished now and then for some down time. Even just one hour would be nice – it had been more than a month since Alicia showed up on his porch unannounced, and they hadn't spoken for more than two or three minutes at a time since then. Somehow, with all the cases Will was involved in, Alicia wasn't assigned to a single one. He suspected Diane had a hand in that; not only was she beginning to appreciate Alicia's talents as a lawyer, she was also trying to avoid any appearance of impropriety between a senior partner and a junior associate.

Glancing at the clock – he was between back-to-back appearances at the courthouse – he decided he had a few minutes for a break. He ducked out of the flow of traffic in the hallway and retrieved his phone.

"Thinking of you. Can you do dinner Sat.?" He never had gotten the hang of abbreviating in text messages. After sending that missive, he quickly checked his email, deemed everything in his inbox capable of waiting another hour, and was about to slide the phone back into his briefcase when it buzzed in his hand.

"Have 2 B careful, but yes. Working late 2nite. Stop by?"

Will had to smile at Alicia's shorthand. He was sure she'd learned it from her kids. "See you then." Glad he'd found the nerve to ask, Will's smile stayed with him through his next court appearance.

* * *

Alicia was at her desk, working on a brief, when Will's text arrived. A slight smile flitted across her face, and she allowed herself a moment to anticipate the coming 'date' that would have to be camouflaged as a work dinner. Momentarily, she was surprised that she felt no guilt regarding Peter. Well, she thought, after more than a year, I guess I've finally let him go.

Kalinda popped in for a minute on her way to a meeting. "Want to order dinner at six to work on the Lewis case?"

"Six? Oh, um," and a flustered Alicia thumbed through some papers on her desk to buy time. "That will be fine." Hopefully, Will would be able to hang around until her meeting with Kalinda was over.

* * *

Upon Will's return from the courthouse, he remained in such a good mood that Diane became suspicious. As she breezed past his office to drop off a file for yet another trial he was scheduled to handle, she noticed Will was smiling and he didn't have a snappy retort for her.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Just glad to see you, Diane."

"I know better than that, Will Gardner. Did you finally get a date?"

Will laughed out loud. "Now, Diane, is that really a necessary question?"

"Is it anyone I know?" Diane's eyes warned him he was on thin ice.

Will's smile faded and his face hardened. "That's my personal business. Let's keep it that way."

"Watch your step, Will. Don't bring this firm crashing down for a fling."

Will's dark eyes, snapping in anger, conveyed that Diane had crossed the line. "Not that it's your business, but this won't be a fling, not for me. Now, I have work to do." He turned back to the files on his desk and Diane stalked out of his office. She knew perfectly well that Will had many romantic entanglements in his past – all short-lived. She couldn't see a relationship between Will and Alicia turning out any differently.

* * *

Alicia became so wrapped up in the briefs she was working on that she didn't notice the time until she heard a quiet tap on her door. A glance at the clock revealed that it was already nearly six o'clock. The tap sounded again and Alicia finally surfaced from the files on her desk.

"Come in." She'd been expecting Will, but she got Diane instead.

"Alicia. We need to talk." The _click _as the door closed punctuated Diane's sharply delivered words.

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes. Don't jeopardize this firm to play games with Will."

Alicia was stunned, and for a moment, she couldn't speak. "Diane, I'm not sure what the problem is."

"He's still your boss. He's also not the commitment type, and I don't need the inevitable break-up drama here. You're a good lawyer, Alicia. I don't want to have to cut you loose." Before Alicia could respond, Diane was gone.

Alicia closed her eyes for a moment, attempting to steady her nerves, but she'd gotten nowhere before Kalinda strode in and perched on the sofa. "What was that all about?"

Alicia's eyes flew open and she glanced around before answering. "You mean Diane?"

Kalinda nodded as Alicia stood to close the door.

"She's warning me away from Will. Apparently, if I start seeing him, Diane's universe will implode."

"Really? But she's not interested in Will…"

"No, no. She thinks our relationship would damage the firm. Oh, and she doesn't want any drama when one of us eventually ends it. There was a veiled threat about firing me, on top of that…"

"Sounds like you need a drink."

Alicia grimaced. "True, but there's too much work to do. Have you claimed a conference room for us yet?"

"Your assistant took care of it. She even ordered takeout." Kalinda eyed Alicia for a moment. "So is there a relationship?"

Alicia, who had been gathering file to take down the hall, hadn't caught all of Kalinda's words. "What?"

"Are you and Will – "

"No, Kalinda. We're not."

Kalinda stood up and her skirt fell back into place before she had to adjust it. "Let's get to work." But before she stepped out of Alicia's office, they both saw a highly agitated Will barreling toward them.

Kalinda saw Will's dark eyes were locked on his target, so she slipped away, but not too far. If she stayed just out of sight around the corner, she'd probably hear the discussion that was sure to follow.

* * *

"Will?" She back-pedaled into her office so he could enter. The resounding slam of the door after he did made Alicia flinch.

"What the hell did Diane say to you?" Will began to pace the small office like a caged animal.

"She doesn't want us to get involved."

"Damn it! I thought I made it clear to her every time this came up that it wasn't any of her business."

Every time? So Diane had discussed her with Will before? Before she could ask any questions, Will stopped in front of her and spoke again.

"Don't worry about her, Alicia." His hands reached out and possessively rested on her hips. "She has nothing to be concerned about." He started to pull her close but stopped abruptly as he realized where they were. His hands fell back to his sides. "Are you okay?"

"Rattled, but okay." She decided not to mention Diane's threat to her job.

"Still on for dinner tomorrow?"

Alicia's anxious face broke into a smile at Will's sudden puppy-dog eyes. "Of course. Can I call you later?"

"No, just come by my office before you leave." Relieved that Diane hadn't scared her away, Will left, furiously searching for a way to get his business partner to leave his personal life alone.

* * *

Alicia tried to focus on the Lewis case that Kalinda was working on, but her thoughts kept straying – to Will, to Diane, to the situation with Peter that she still didn't understand.

Right in the middle of Kalinda's explanation of her surveillance findings, Alicia blurted out, "What do you know about Peter taking bribes?"

Kalinda just coolly appraised the woman beside her. "What's he done now?" She knew how hard Alicia worked to ignore Peter's past transgressions.

"Look." Alicia dug into her purse to find the offending jewelry box. "These showed up at the house with a note from Peter. But I know he didn't buy them." Alicia sighed. "What don't I know, Kalinda?"

"Wow. Someone has good taste."

"Kalinda. Please?"

"Why don't you ask Peter?"

"He doesn't tell the whole truth. Besides, we've barely been on speaking terms lately."

"Why is that?"

But Alicia saw through her. "No more stalling. I need to know what's going on, and I hope you'll tell me the truth."

Now it was Kalinda's turn to sigh. She'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, that Peter would man up and tell his wife everything, but that clearly hadn't happened. Kalinda was the only other person who knew the story who would tell Alicia anything, but this was one task she would gladly have passed on to someone else. "If you're sure…" At Alicia's nod, Kalinda settled in to reveal all of Peter's secrets to the woman who had unconditionally trusted the snake all along.


	7. Open Eyes

**Author's Note**: Sorry this one's short...but I thought continuing past this point was better done in another chapter. The good news is the next chapter's also going up tonight, so you won't have to wait too long to find out why...

* * *

"Red is for the anger that you put me through. And for all those nights I felt alone, you'll see a shade of blue. I'll add a dash of yellow, for the coward that you've been, and the black will be the nights ahead and my shadow in your bed." ~ "War Paint" by Lorrie Morgan

* * *

Alicia was so silent and still after Kalinda finally finished destroying all of her remaining illusions about Peter that Kalinda began to worry. Finally, Alicia spoke in a hollow monotone voice as she struggled to keep her facial expression neutral. "Kalinda, I have to go. We'll have to pick this up later." She stood and began gathering her belongings and papers.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes." Alicia's forced, tight-lipped smile wouldn't have fooled anyone, least of all Kalinda, but the younger woman let her slide. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Quickly, Alicia escaped down the hall. She dumped the files on her desk and headed for the elevator. When she saw someone already waiting there, she turned to head back to her office, but it was too late.

"Alicia?" Will's voice stopped her in her tracks. How had she not noticed it was him standing there?

"Will." She took a quick breath to steady herself. "On your way out for the night?"

"Just on my way to get some dinner." He took in her armload of stuff, her pale face, and the way she looked ready to bolt and asked, "What's wrong?" Before she could answer, he saw Kalinda at the end of the hall, watching Alicia intently, and he took Alicia's arm. "Let's go." He gently pulled her into the elevator, waited for it to begin its descent, and stopped the car between floors. "Tell me what's wrong, Alicia."

* * *

Where was Alicia? He'd hoped she'd come home early, or at least before seven, after finding the earrings the night before, but it was just past seven now and she hadn't even called. She wasn't answering her phone, either, so Peter figured she must be in a meeting.

Probably with Kalinda. That made Peter nervous – he had been horrified to learn the two women would be working together – but so far Kalinda seemed to have kept his secrets.

Will was another concern, but Peter felt that threat dissipating each night Alicia came home from work and didn't receive any calls from her admirer, work-related or otherwise. Once Peter had succeeded in getting her home from Will's the morning after she announced her intentions to seek a divorce, he felt like he once again had the upper hand. Alicia hadn't mentioned divorce again since that night and Peter was confident that his picture perfect family would remain intact after all.

* * *

Alicia's guarded posture, as she stood in the elevator with her back to Will, told him to keep his distance. He leaned back and waited – Alicia would tell him eventually; she always did.

Her phone began to ring but once Alicia caught sight of the screen, she dropped the phone like it had burned her hand. Will bent down to retrieve it and saw Peter's name. He quickly turned the phone off and now looked expectantly at the woman across from him.

"It's nothing," she said, extending her hand for the phone.

Will raised his eyebrows but otherwise remained still.

Suddenly, the fight to keep up appearances fled, and Alicia slumped back against the side of the elevator. She sighed and took a moment to collect herself before straightening up again and facing Will. "Kalinda just told me that nearly all of the last ten years of my life were a façade. Apparently, the girl Peter was caught with wasn't the first, or the only, one." Her voice cracked slightly – she hadn't realized Peter still had the power to hurt her – and she fought for control before continuing. "He 'sold' his endorsement to various campaigns over the year, and determined promotions using under-the-table bribes. In fact, he appears to be reverting to his underhanded methods if the jewelry he gave me yesterday is any indication."

Will could see her trying to put her mask back up, could tell that the news about Peter had sent her reeling once again. "I'm sorry, Alicia. Peter's a fool who didn't appreciate you or his position."

"I'm the fool, Will. How did I miss it? Why didn't I know?"

Will wanted so badly to wrap her in his arms, tell her it would be okay, and distract her from the hell of self-doubt Peter had created for her, but he knew it wouldn't work. "He had every reason to keep this stuff hidden from you. Peter may be an idiot, but he was smart enough to realize you're worth holding on to. Besides, his job gave him plenty of opportunity to cover his tracks when he was cheating." Alicia flinched at the last word, but they both knew Will's statement was accurate.

"Cheating." The word slammed into Alicia's conscience as she realized the implications. "I hate that Peter did it, but I'm so close to doing the same thing."

Oh, no. No, no, no. She was going to guilt herself away from him again. "Alicia…"

"Shh. I don't want to be a cheater, don't want that to be my example to my children. About dinner…"

"Please, Alicia, don't…"

She cut him off again. "Let's postpone the dinner for a few weeks. That should be enough time to get the proceedings started." A hard light sparked in Alicia's dark eyes, and Will was disconcerted. This move was all about Peter, and while Will appreciated Alicia's unwillingness to betray Peter, he was wondering, for the first time, if he was meant to be Alicia's revenge on her wayward husband.

Will closed his eyes for a few moments to contemplate this new, unwelcome thought, then reopened them and restarted the elevator. When he turned back to Alicia, she was simply Alicia again; the anger and vindictiveness no longer showed on her face.

"Are you okay, Will?" She watched him closely as she continued, "Please understand why it has to be this way."

"Honestly, I do. But tell me this – what am I to you in all this? An excuse to leave Peter? Someone you can use to exact revenge on your husband, hurting him the same way he hurt you? Do you care for me at all?"


	8. Realization

"But if you can look in my eyes and tell me we'll be all right; if you promise never to leave, you just might make me believe." ~ "Just Might (Make Me Believe)" by Sugarland

* * *

Alicia was too shocked to respond, but she was aware enough to reach past Will and stop the elevator's descent. The hurt from Will's accusation showed in her eyes, but her voice was steady as she asked softly, "Do you really think that little of me?"

Will's look was unreadable. He opened his mouth to speak, but Alicia pre-empted him. "If all I wanted was to hurt Peter, I'd have had a meaningless one-night-stand by now. I would never use a friend that way, and you know that. Besides, I'm not stupid enough to put my heart on the line just to get revenge on Peter."

Now it was Will's turn to be shocked. "What did you say?" But he didn't let her answer. "I've been waiting for this for a long time, and I don't want to wind up being a pawn in a scheme to get back at Peter. But if you mean it; if you're in this for you…" Will couldn't stop the words that kept tumbling out. "I was half in love with you at Georgetown and now…"

Will's words trailed off; he just didn't have the nerve to finish the statement, but he could see that Alicia knew where he'd been going.

"Will." Somewhere along the way, Alicia's belongings had fallen to the floor and she had reached for his hand. "What's happening between us has nothing to do with Peter. Granted, if my marriage had been solid and secure, we wouldn't be having this conversation, but our relationship is about _us_, not about Peter." She held his gaze for a long moment. "You believe that, don't you?"

Will reached out with his free hand and brushed her pale cheek. "I do." He wanted to kiss her, but out of respect for her choices, he held back. "Now, I know we can't have a dinner date," because they both knew where _that_ would lead, "but do you want to walk with me? I'm going up the street to pick up my dinner order, and if you're nice, you can share." He grinned and Alicia was reminded just how much she adored him when he was like this.

"I'll go with you, if you'll let me bounce a few ideas off you about one of my cases."

"Always." Will once again restarted the elevator as Alicia gathered her things from the floor.

Just before they reached the ground floor, Will said, "I'm sorry about before…"

Mercifully, Will didn't have to finish the apology. Alicia just looked at him with somber, understanding eyes. "I know." And that's all that needed to be said.

* * *

Peter had tired of waiting for Alicia to come home, and since she _still_ wasn't answering her phone, he decided to head down to her office to surprise her.

About three blocks from the building where the Lockhart, Gardner offices were located, Peter glanced out the window of the cab, and a couple on the corner caught his eye. The woman, whose back was to him, had her head tilted to better see the man who clearly had her captivated by his words. Peter remembered when Alicia had looked at him like that, and suddenly he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He looked again to verify his suspicions, then he flung some money at the cab driver and jumped from the car.

Will saw him coming first, but Alicia sensed Peter's presence too, and she turned as well. Unconsciously, they were presenting a united front as Peter charged their way.

"Alicia!" As Peter neared them, Will grabbed Alicia's hand and pulled her to stand beside him, so she wouldn't be caught between the two men. Peter immediately noticed the little intimacy and was infuriated. "Take your hands off my wife, Will." Peter's irate, menacing growl was meant to scare the other man, but Will was not so easily intimidated.

"Calm down, Peter." Will would have happily gone toe-to-toe with Peter in a screaming match but that would hurt Alicia, and Will would do everything in his power to protect her.

"I've had enough of this. You're her boss, and she's married, yet you continue to pursue her." He now turned his attention to Alicia. "Let's go."

Rage began boiling in Will as Peter spoke. Alicia glanced sideways at him, knowing he wouldn't take this well, and she squeezed his hand. She was almost surprised that their hands were still joined, but she didn't let go.

"She's not going anywhere with you." Will's angry words were clipped and short, and now even Alicia was reaching her breaking point. These two grown men were acting like four-year-olds feuding over a toy. She dropped Will's hand and stepped between the men.

"Peter, this is not the time or place for this discussion. Go home." Alicia's hushed but urgent words exuded so much authority that Peter _almost_ listened to her. "Will, thanks for your help. I'll come by in the morning to finish discussing the case."

"You're coming with me." Peter's words weren't a question.

"Isn't Kalinda meeting with you tonight?" Will knew perfectly well that the two women had already spoken, but he was desperately trying to give Alicia an out so she wouldn't leave with Peter.

Alicia's small smile was the only appreciation she could show him. "I need to talk to Kalinda for a minute, then I have to get my things. Go home, Peter. I'll be there soon." Hoping against hope that the men would listen to her, Alicia walked off down the sidewalk, leaving Will and Peter standing together, watching her go.

After a moment, Will realized where he was and decided to follow Alicia back to the office, but Peter wasn't yet ready for their confrontation to end. "Stay the hell away from her, Will."

"Why? Because your marriage is so great? Face it, Peter, you're going to lose her. You had everything and you blew it." Will began to follow the path Alicia had just taken, but he still heard Peter's parting shot.

"Don't be so sure, Will. She's been mine a long time and I don't give up that easily."

* * *

Quickly, Alicia dropped off the items she didn't need to take home and hurried toward the elevator, hoping to avoid Will on her way out. She didn't want to discuss the sidewalk confrontation, and she needed to skirt the temptation of being alone with Will in a virtually empty office, but she wasn't fast enough.

"Alicia!" Will strode toward her. "You're not leaving already, are you?"

"I have to go." She put her head down and tried to sidestep Will, who wasn't too keen on her leaving without talking to him first.

"Wait." He took her arm to keep her in place so she would hear him out. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need…anything?"

"No, I just need to get home to talk to Peter."

"Be careful, okay?" Alicia finally looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. "I don't think he's going to take the news well, and I don't think he has any intention of letting you leave him. Just…be careful."

Alicia could see Will's concern wasn't a smokescreen; he really _was_ worried about Peter's reaction. "Will, don't worry. He'll be angry but he'll get over it."

Against his better judgment, Will held his tongue. Even though Alicia was planning to leave Peter, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong. "All right. Good night, Alicia."

* * *

**Author's Note**: Okay...so let me know how you think it's going. It may be a little while before I get the next chapter up since I like to have 2-3 chapters written ahead before posting; that gives me a chance to undo any plot twists that put me in a corner without having to take down already posted chapters. Oh, and don't worry about this cliffhanger - I don't plan to injure/maim/kill off any of the main characters. :-)


	9. Battlefield

**Author's note: Sorry it's taken so long to get the next chapter up. As I said before, I like to be writing a few chapters ahead, and I got stuck around the end of this one. Writer's block is no fun at all.**

**On the other hand, at least the premiere is tomorrow night. Now if I could only shake this bad feeling I have about where the characters are going...**

* * *

"Good as I was to you, is this the thanks I get? Are all the years we shared so easy to forget?" ~ "Good As I Was to You" by Lorrie Morgan

* * *

Peter's anger still hadn't cooled by the time Alicia returned home. In fact, he was pacing the living room, awaiting her arrival. Zach and Grace, realizing their parents were headed for another showdown, had closed themselves in their rooms.

"How was your _date_ with Will?" spat Peter venomously as soon as Alicia walked in the door.

Trying to keep the conversation from turning into a screaming match, Alicia took a deep breath before answering. "I needed Will's opinion on one of my cases; he was walking to the deli to get something to eat and I tagged along. It's called multi-tasking, Peter."

"How long have you been sleeping with him?"

"Listen to me. I. Am. Not. Sleeping. With. Will."

"I knew he always had a soft spot for you, but this… Does he get a thrill out of chasing married women who belong to someone else?"

"I don't know, Peter. Did you get a thrill out of turning your back on your marriage and your family to have affairs with prostitutes?"

Suddenly, the room was silent. "What did you say?"

"Yes, it's been a very revealing night. I found out your affairs with hookers started shortly after Grace was born. Do you still find yourself morally superior to Will now?" Taunting wasn't Alicia's style, but she wanted to inflict some damage on Peter for the pain he continued to cause her.

Storm clouds roared in Peter's eyes. "At least they weren't married."

"But YOU were!" Alicia closed her eyes for a moment, desperately trying to rein in her rampaging thoughts. "Look, Peter, we both know this isn't working. It's time to move forward with the divorce." She pulled the jewelry box from her bag and tried to hand it to Peter.

He wouldn't take it. "No."

"I'm not in a compromising mood. We _will_ start the divorce proceedings tomorrow." Alicia opened her hand and let the box fall to the floor. "You can use those to pay off your next call girl. I'm done." She turned to walk away.

Peter grabbed her arm and yanked her back to face him. "Do you really think I'd let you divorce me in the middle of my campaign?" Peter's voice, rough and threatening, reminded Alicia of Will's warning earlier. How far would Peter go to stop the divorce?

* * *

Alicia ripped her arm from Peter's grasp. "What is it about 'it's over' that you don't understand?" Her eyes burned right through him.

"Watch your step, Mrs. Florrick." He paused for a moment. "How will you get along without your husband?"

"Look around, Peter! Whose job is keeping this family solvent?"

"But not if her husband buries her sinking law firm under piles of work it can't handle." Peter's eyes sparkled craftily and Alicia knew he'd been planning this as a backup in case she followed through on her threat to leave him. "Don't forget; I still have very powerful friends in this town, and I have no problem destroying that firm, Will Gardner in particular. It's your choice."

Alicia was appalled. Peter would do anything to win the election, even ruining other people's lives to get what he wanted. Jackie's son was finally showing his power-hungry roots. She had no idea what to say; she couldn't choose her freedom at the expense of Will, the firm, and all her co-workers, but she had no idea how she could consider staying with Peter, either.

"Take your time, Alicia. It's a big decision." Peter's smirk proved too much and Alicia fled the room. What was she going to do now?

* * *

Zach crept silently from his room into Grace's and found his sister crying. Again.

"Grace, calm down." Grace didn't look up, and her tears didn't slow. "Do you honestly still want them together? Listen to Mom, Grace. She doesn't trust Dad, and it sounds like she's right."

"How can you say that? Don't you want us all to be together?"

Zach hated having to disillusion his sister; they were so close in age, but he felt light years ahead of her sometimes.

"Dad's been cheating on her since you were a baby! If it had just been Amber, maybe they could have worked it out, but twelve years of that… I don't blame Mom; Dad screwed up big time."

"But Mom and Will…"

"Grace. Mom and Will would never have even had a reason to see each other if Dad hadn't been caught messing around." Zach wouldn't admit it, but he was starting to see how his mom felt. He'd recently learned that Becca had been seeing other guys when they were together. In fact, he wasn't sure how his mother had put up with that betrayal from her husband for so long, and he was ashamed that he'd wanted her to. But Grace still didn't understand.

* * *

After an hour of silence, Peter was stunned to finally recognize how poorly he'd treated his wife. He'd insulted Alicia, manhandled her, and threatened everything she cared about except their children. Although he'd meant every word of the threats he'd uttered against the firm, and against Will, he was smart enough to realize that wasn't the best way to gain his wife's cooperation.

Knowing she was too angry to talk now, Peter left Alicia to her solitude while he immediately began to fashion damage control plans to win back his wife. Realizing that he should have done this long ago, he figured 'better late than never' was a well-known saying for a reason.

* * *

It took almost half-an-hour before Alicia was able to function. Finally, understanding what she was up against, she knew she had to play hardball to counter Peter's threats. She rifled through her bag in search of her phone and hit the speed-dial.

"Kalinda? I really need your help with something…"

* * *

Will was still at his desk two hours after he'd said goodbye to Alicia, but he wasn't getting much work done. He couldn't help wondering what was happening inside the walls of the Florrick apartment. More than once, he'd picked up the phone to call her, but he hadn't yet followed through. He reached for his phone once more, but it rang in his hand before he could call Alicia. Could it be her?

No. Hmm, the caller ID was blocked. "Hello?"

Will couldn't have been more shocked when he learned the caller's identity.


	10. Inertia

**Author's note: Here's another chapter...I just get though one road block and hit another. This one was spurred by my massive levels of annoyance after the season 2 premiere and I'm still trying to recover, but I'm not giving up. :-) Enjoy!**

* * *

"This has to do with me and not a thing to do with you. So don't try to understand; you don't have a thing to prove to me." ~ "Room to Breathe" by Reba McEntire

* * *

"Will, I mean, um, Mr. Gardner?"

"Yes?"

"This is Zach. Zach Florrick."

"Is everything all right? Has something happened to Alicia?" Will's panic was evident even to the teenager who'd never actually met Alicia's boss and friend.

"Mom's okay. I just… Can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure." Will wasn't sure why Zach sounded so uncertain; Alicia had always characterized her son as a fairly confident kid for his age.

"I know there's something going on between you and my mom."

Was he going to be reamed out by a child over his affection for Alicia? "Look, Zach…"

But Zach cut him off. "Please hear me out. My mom has her hands full; everything with Dad, and Grace's demands to keep our family together…it's a lot. She needs a break but she's not going to get it. And now Mom and Dad are fighting about you."

"What do you want, Zach?" Will wasn't in the mood to be this kid's confidante.

"Give Mom some space. For the record, I totally understand why she wants a divorce, and I'm okay with it. But I think it would be easiest if she leaves him on her own, not for someone else."

Silence fell as Will contemplated Zach's words. He was beginning to see the dilemma. Peter would be angry enough losing his wife, but losing her to another man would be a double-hit to Peter's massive ego. "I appreciate your position and will give it some thought."

"Thanks." _Click_.

* * *

Kalinda was rarely at a loss for words. She'd heard what Alicia had to say, and had agreed to help her, as much out of self-preservation as anything, but she was shocked that Alicia was going to get down-and-dirty in this battle with her husband. Even thought she was apprised of Alicia's feelings for Will, Kalinda had expected that unless Peter let her go easily, Alicia would remain married rather than fight him.

Well, she mused, Alicia's more determined than I thought. A small smile tugged on Kalinda's lips before she settled in to make a game plan.

* * *

Will lay awake for more than an hour that night, mulling over what Zach had said and finally realizing how much came with Alicia. Recognizing that Peter wasn't the only obstacle between him and Alicia wasn't going to stop Will; it just made him aware of how many more individuals, and issues, any romantic entanglements with Alicia would involve.

Finally, exhausted and resigned to taking a step back to allow Alicia to dissolve her marriage without any interference, he fell into a fitful sleep plagued by thoughts of the woman he would once again wait for.

* * *

Alicia was awake for hours that night, too, but she, like Kalinda, was wracking her brain to come up with ammunition to get Peter to back off of his threats toward the law firm. She wouldn't let him jeopardize her job and numerous others over his anger at her wish to move on with her life. Alicia stole a moment's thought to realize once again the boulder blocking her path to freedom, but she took no time to dwell on it. There would be time for worry later; now she needed to find a way to fight back.

* * *

The next morning, Peter acted like nothing had happened the previous night. When Alicia rushed through the kitchen, tightening the clasp on her watch and yelling for the kids to get moving, Peter just smiled at her and offered a cup of coffee.

Alicia ignored him at first, unsure of his motives, and continued gathering everything she needed to take to the office. Peter offered the coffee mug again and murmured, "Peace?" with the charming grin that had never failed him.

Until now. Alicia, exhausted, hurt, and angry, brushed his hand away. "I have to go. Make sure the kids get to the bus on time." Grabbing her purse and laptop, she paused to wish her children a good day. Grace, as was becoming common, was sulking and barely acknowledged Alicia, but surprisingly, Zach stepped into the hallway to tell his mother goodbye.

The whole way in to the office, Alicia mused about whether the awful things her children had certainly overheard had finally allowed Zach to realize how flawed his father, and his parents' marriage, had become. Now, if only Grace could understand…

* * *

Alicia dove into the piles of work on her desk as soon as she reached her office, and she barely looked up until Will tapped on her door at quarter-to-one. "Hey, do you have a minute?"

She looked up, a tight but genuine smile on her face. "Come on in."

Will stepped far enough into the room to close the door but he didn't take his usual seat either on the couch or beside her desk.

"What's up, Will?"

"So, last night…" His voice trailed off, the question left unspoken.

"Last night did not go well." Alicia sighed. "You were right about Peter. He's trying to complicate matters, but I haven't changed my mind." She fiddled with her watchband, then continued, "Thanks for not making a scene last night, even though he was out of line."

Will shrugged like it was nothing. "I spent a lot of time thinking about this last night, and as much as I hate it, I think we need to keep our distance for now." He saw Alicia's face fall before she recovered her composed, expressionless mask and he felt like a heel. "Here's why. Losing you will be a huge blow to Peter's ego, but losing you to someone else would be even worse. If it looks like I'm out of the picture, maybe things will be easier."

Alicia released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "Oh. That makes sense."

"This will give you time to handle Peter on your own, and I'll have time to work on Diane. I don't like it," and he grinned, trying to ease the tension, "but I think it's the best course of action."

She nodded in agreement. "How did you come up with this idea?" She doubted that 'space' would ever have been an option in Will's mind unless it was planted by someone else.

"Your son is very perceptive," said Will as he took his leave, and Alicia was left wondering just what had transpired between Will and Zach.


	11. Plotting

**Author's note**: Sorry it took so long...between apathy over the season 2 storylines of the show and unhappiness with how my final chapters were turning out, I had to shelve this project for a while. However, since I finally convinced myself to finish it, I'm now posting here - hopefully it's reasonable enough for you to enjoy. Let me know what you think of this (and the next/final) chapter. Oh...I've kept the time frame static - we're still back prior to the season one finale, so all of the unpleasantness (with regard to Alicia and Will and their relationship) hasn't really happened...

* * *

"Do you feel a change coming on, rolling out of the blue like a storm, throwin' your dollhouse world in disarray, so you can rebuild or conform?" ~ "Change" by Poets of the Fall

* * *

No one in the office missed the ostentatious bouquet of flowers delivered to "Mrs. Peter Florrick" at three that afternoon, but only Kalinda observed Alicia's reaction upon reading the card.

Alicia plucked the card from the lush foliage, quickly absorbed the message, and scoffed harshly in a way Kalinda had never heard from her before.

Kalinda remained silent, simply arching an eyebrow in her colleague's direction, and Alicia, who was nearly incapable of hiding anything from the P.I., slid the card across the desk. Upon reading the note, Kalinda's smirk said it all. "Damage control."

Unnecessarily, Alicia nodded her agreement. "Like he could fit enough apology on that little card to make all the hell from the past year just disappear." She tossed the card into the wastebasket and went back to work.

* * *

At the apartment, Peter had cleared a few days from his rigorous campaign schedule. He booked a suite at one of the most luxurious hotels in Chicago and made dinner reservations for that night and the following night. Jackie had agreed to keep the kids for the weekend.

Peter quickly packed his own bag, then strode into Alicia's room to gather her things as well. He owed this weekend to his wife – he couldn't remember the number of times she had asked him to take a few days off work for a romantic getaway, but he had always refused. Either he had too much work, or he had meetings with his colleagues, or he had a new mistress that he wanted to be near, and Alicia had always taken a back seat to all of that.

Now it was time for Peter to make her his priority. He realized he should have done so years ago, but that was water under the bridge. Instead, he would use this weekend to show Alicia he could give her what she needed, and he would try once again to regain his wife's allegiance.

* * *

Will had heard about, and ignored, the massive flower delivery Alicia had received, but when he heard Peter Florrick was in the building an hour later, he began to worry. He tried to busy himself with work, but in less than five minutes, he was heading for the stairs, telling himself that he needed to speak to Julius, which might have been true if he was actually working on a case with the equity partner.

When he reached the foot of the staircase, he saw Peter standing beside Alicia in her office. Kalinda was there, too, and Will kept walking, not wanting to be caught watching. He didn't realize Alicia's office door was open a crack until he heard her voice. Pausing by a paralegal's abandoned desk, he pretended to look for a file while shamelessly eavesdropping on the conversation across the hall.

"Peter, that's crazy. I can't just leave now, even if I wanted to. I have hours of work left still."

"Alicia, look, I…" Peter looked at Kalinda, who appeared to be perfectly happy with her front-row seat. "Kalinda, would you excuse us?"

Kalinda was clearly not interested in obliging, and Alicia was through letting Peter run the show. "There's no need for her to leave. We're finished here, Peter."

"Wait, Alicia. Look, I made dinner reservations at your favorite place for eight. I thought some time away from work and the kids would be good for us."

"Us?" Alicia raised her eyebrows but said nothing more.

"Just meet me there at eight, okay?" The pleading note in his voice was evident and a little pathetic, so Alicia acquiesced.

"All right."

"Great." Peter smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss on the cheek that Alicia was too stunned to evade, then he left the bag he'd brought her and disappeared down the hall.

From across the room Kalinda eyed Alicia suspiciously. "How quickly the tide turns."

Alicia scowled. "It's not like that."

Skeptical, Kalinda kept her thoughts to herself.

* * *

Will went back upstairs to get some more work done. Peter was trying to win Alicia back with pompous flowers and fancy dinners, neither of which would lead to a reconciliation. Putting the Florricks out of his mind, he settled in at his desk.

Hours later, he was distracted by two secretaries gossiping on their way out for the night.

"Apparently she's going out with her _husband_ tonight."

"Well, she looks fantastic."

"Maybe she's planning to make him forget that hooker."

Both women laughed and disappeared down the corridor.

What?

Hoping he hadn't missed her, he returned to the staircase, hurrying toward her office, and he couldn't catch his breath when he spotted her.

Alicia had pinned her hair up, almost haphazardly, which was out-of-character but probably the best she could do in the office bathroom. The simple black dress looked like it had been made for her. The women upstairs had been right – she _did_ look fantastic. The only downfall was how sober her face was; that is, until she looked up and spotted Will, and a smile finally showed on her face.

"I didn't know you were still here."

"Oh, I'll be here until late – lots to do, you know."

A guilty shadow passed over Alicia's features. "Me, too. I'll be in tomorrow to try to get through some of this." A wave of her hand indicated the pile of work stacked around her office.

"You deserve a night out now and again," reminded Will. "There's nothing wrong with that." But they both knew work wasn't the real source of Alicia's guilt.

While avoiding Will's discerning eyes, she caught a glimpse of the clock. "Damn, I'm late. See you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here." Will spent nearly all of his waking hours at work now anyway.

"Okay." A slight smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. "Good night, Will." And she was gone.

* * *

As Alicia drove towards the restaurant, she couldn't help but wonder what Peter was up to. The bag he'd left her contained multiple changes of clothes, not just the dress for dinner.

Knowing she would learn Peter's plans soon enough, she brushed thoughts of him away and instead focused on the conversation she'd had with Will.

Will.

He was trying so hard to make everything easier on her, and she knew it was costing him. Unfortunately, under the current circumstances, there wasn't any other choice. "I'll make it up to him somehow," she thought. "I just have to figure out how."

But further contemplation had to wait. She handed her keys to the valet and entered the restaurant to find Peter waiting for her.

"Alicia! You look wonderful." Peter reached for her hand and dropped another kiss on her cheek. She could feel the other restaurant patrons' eyes on her, so she just smiled, and they were quickly escorted to their table.

Once seated, Peter ordered a bottle of her favorite wine and they sat quietly while perusing the menu. Just before the server returned Peter caught Alicia's eye and smiled. Shocked to find herself smiling back, she looked back down at the menu. Had Kalinda been right? Would she so easily forgive Peter?

* * *

Idle chatter and awkward silences alternated at filling the space as they waited for the meal to arrive. Once the waiter had delivered their entrees, Peter's entire demeanor changed and, for perhaps the first time, she saw her powerful husband looking vulnerable and contrite.

"Alicia, I know I screwed everything up. You've always been so patient and understanding, and I must have deluded myself into thinking that as long as you never found out, no one would get hurt. I was terribly wrong, and I owe you more apologies than I could ever make. I want you to know how sorry I am, and that I want to make it right. I love you, Alicia, have loved you for so long, and I'm different now. I will _never_ hurt you like that again."

For a moment, she thought her heart had stopped beating. Once she realized it hadn't, it took at least a full minute to find her voice. "What took so long, Peter? This is something you should have said months ago."

"I know. That was a mistake, too." Peter hung his head and Alicia could no longer read his facial expressions. "But as long as you can forgive me, I swear it won't happen again."

Alicia sighed. This was impossible. She had loved Peter for so long, had trusted him with everything that mattered in her life, and he'd thrown it all away. Now he wanted her to invest her soul in him again?

Suddenly, heat shot up her arm, just like it had so many times before, when Peter took her hand. "Hon, you know how good we were, and we'll only be better now. I need you, Alicia, and I always have. Let's take this weekend to make it right again."

Now she knew what the rest of the clothes in the overnight bag were for.

* * *

Will worked late, again, to distract himself from Alicia's date, so when a friend called to invite him to watch the Cubs game at a downtown pub, he jumped at the plans.

"The Padres don't stand a chance tonight," said Will before he said goodbye to Michael. A quick stop at home gave him a chance to change and by nine-forty-five, he was outside the pub, paying the cabbie and hoping he'd only missed an inning or so of the Cubs' west coast game, when movement across the street caught his attention.

The upscale hotel attracted a famous clientele, but that wasn't why the couple entering the lobby looked so familiar. Will would have recognized Alicia anywhere. _Alicia._ No.

But Will couldn't deny that Alicia had just entered a hotel with her husband. Suddenly, the Cubs game no longer held any appeal.


	12. Upheaval

"It took so long just to feel all right, remember how to put back the light in my eyes…" ~ "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri

* * *

Alicia's phone rang as she and Peter stepped into the hotel lobby. Tipsy and slightly confused, she returned to the sidewalk to answer it, leaving Peter alone, just inside the door.

"Kalinda. What's up?"

"Alicia." She said nothing more, but Alicia had heard the warning note in her voice.

"I don't know what to do." Alicia's voice sounded small and far away over the line. Her indecisiveness regarding her personal life was catching up to her – and then a figure across the street, unmoving and shrouded in shadow, caught her eye. "Damn it!"

Alicia's curse spun down Kalinda's nerves immediately, setting her on edge. "Alicia, what's going on?"

Not wanting anyone to overhear her, she murmured, "Peter brought me to a hotel – he wants a romantic getaway weekend."

"Just leave if that's not what you want."

"That's not all…Will's across the street. He saw us." The panic, although masked, was still discernible in her voice.

"Alicia, you've made your choice, haven't you?"

"I can't do this now." Alicia's tone was beginning to spiral out of her carefully modulated, perfectly delivered control. "I don't want to hurt him, but…"

"He'll get over it."

The hotel door opened and Peter stepped out. "Alicia?"

Across the street, Will turned on his heel and stalked toward the pub entrance. Alicia glanced at Peter, looked back across the street – and froze. The hand holding the phone fell to her side as Peter advanced toward her.

"Come on." Peter reached for her hand but Alicia shook herself out of the daze long enough to shake her head.

"Hold on." She put the phone back to her ear. "Kalinda?"

"Yes?"

A moment of clarity enveloped Alicia and she remembered there was more to Peter than just the charming, attentive husband he'd played all night. "You're right. I have made my choice." Before Kalinda could answer, Alicia hung up.

Turning away from Peter, she said, "We need to talk." Peter, puzzled, followed her into the lobby, then continued after her into the hotel bar, where Alicia found a corner table that afforded as much privacy as she could hope for without checking in to the room Peter had reserved.

At Alicia's gesture, a suddenly uncomfortable Peter took a seat and waited for her to share what was on her mind.

* * *

Will spotted his friends on the far side of the pub and joined them after ordering a drink at the bar. The Cubs were winning and the atmosphere was light, jovial, but Will silently brooded over the beer he wasn't drinking.

Soon enough, a few girls joined the table and introduced themselves. One, a particularly perky brunette, immediately chose Will as her target of choice, and she crowded in beside him.

He barely noticed her presence until she demanded his attention. "I'm Kasey." She turned a dazzling smile on him and, when he didn't respond, she asked, "And you are?"

"Will." He didn't elaborate and the woman quickly became annoyed.

Will's friend Michael noticed her agitation. "Don't mind him. He's been in a lousy mood since he got here." Usually, jabs like this pulled Will back into the action, but not tonight. Instead, a sullen Will picked up his untouched beer and moved to the bar where he chose a space between two apparent regulars in hopes of being left alone.

* * *

"Peter, I'm not going to do this."

"What?"

"This." Alicia waved her arm, taking in the bar, the hotel, and, apparently, the idea of a romantic weekend with her husband. "We can barely talk without fighting, and I don't trust you anymore."

"Alicia, I told you, I've changed…"

She cut him off. "Peter, that still doesn't erase the damage that's been done. I told you last night how I felt, and instead of listening, you just turned mean and threatening. I've thought about fighting back, looking for something to hurt you, but I don't want that." Alicia felt her voice begin to wobble, so she paused and took a steadying breath. "I don't hate you; I just can't be with you anymore. And I don't want to get into a mud-slinging battle because, at the end of the day, I want us to still be able to raise our children together. I don't want to be sending messages to you through Grace because we can't speak civilly to one another. I don't want to feel awkward and uncomfortable at the graduations, weddings, and other big events to come in our children's lives. Please, Peter…can't you understand that?"

Peter finally had the grace to look ashamed as he saw in Alicia's face the havoc he had wreaked upon his family. "We could make it work again; I know we can. Please, Alicia, just try…"

The steely glint of determination sparked back in her eyes and the set of her jaw told Peter he wasn't winning.

"God, Alicia, I'm sorry it's come to this." Peter sighed. "I just thought, if I could get you to hold on a little longer, you'd remember what was so good about us. But I guess my behavior over the last few years has tainted that irrevocably. You didn't deserve that, and I am sorry that I hurt you." He stood up and gazed wistfully at his wife. "Take the hotel room – it's already booked – and I'll go home. We'll talk again tomorrow."

A grateful smile half-heartedly lifted one corner of her mouth. "Good night, Peter." A quick nod was all the response she received before he was gone and she was left alone with the remnants of what had once, some time ago, been a happy marriage.

* * *

By the time Alicia had gathered herself enough to leave the table, she found that Peter had left her bag at the desk. Quickly she obtained her room key, stowed her bag in the sumptuous suite that Peter had reserved, and dashed back downstairs. Hoping Will hadn't left, she burst into the pub, not knowing what to say but praying the right words would surface in time.

Intensely, her dark eyes roved the bar, looking for him. The room was full of people cheering on the Cubs, but Will wasn't part of it. Everything around her quickly turned muted and gray, and she was unsure of her next move. Suddenly, she remembered the phone in her hand and, punching a few buttons, she waited to see if he would answer.

Nope. Her heart sank, along with the arm that fell to her side, as she hung up on Will's voicemail. After taking a moment to consider her options, she dialed again, and this time, her call was answered. "Kalinda, look, I need…" Movement near the restrooms caught her eye just before Will stepped out into the hallway.

At first he didn't see her; he was looking at his phone and must have seen her missed call. His head jerked up and he surveyed the room, and when he spotted Alicia beside the door, he started her way.

"Hello? Alicia?" Kalinda's voice, distant and tinny, filtered through the air to Alicia's ears. She'd already forgotten the phone.

"Never mind. Everything's fine." For the second time in an hour, Alicia hung up without waiting for Kalinda's response.

Will stopped in front of her, feet apart, angry. He opened his mouth but Alicia rushed to cut him off – she couldn't stand to fight with him now.

"It's over." Behind the anger, Alicia saw Will's eyes darken, then cloud over entirely.

"I know." The words, sharp, sounded like they'd been bitten off, left unfinished. "You didn't have to tell me; I saw you."

Desperate, realizing he'd misunderstood her, she tried again. "With Peter. We talked and he finally understands why I need it to be over."

"So who decided on the hotel?" Will's face twisted and he continued, "That's quite a reward."

Alicia's eyes slid closed as she tried frantically to ignore the fact that Will had never looked at, or spoken to, her that way. "It was Peter's idea, but that was before. He's gone; we parted in the hotel bar." Opening her eyes, she realized Will still didn't believe her.

"That's enough. I'm tired of this, Alicia – it's well past time you decided, and it's becoming blindingly obvious that you won't leave Peter. Go back to him, again, and just forget whatever we had between us."

"Will, please…" She once again dialed her phone, turned on the speaker, and held it toward a shutter-faced Will. He turned to go, but Alicia's hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve. Turning back, he saw the unspoken plea written on Alicia's pretty face and he stopped moving.

"Hello? Hello?" _Click._

One last time, she tried to get through to him. "Do you believe me now? I told you he'd left."

Struck by the sorrow on her face, and wishing he hadn't been so cruel, he slipped the phone from her hand, glanced at the number ("home"), and looked down at his shoes. "I'm sorry. I was over the line."

Emotionally, Alicia took a step back and surveyed the situation. Will wasn't the only one to blame here. "You were, but I deserved it. I have been dragging you along without making a decision, at least one that I stuck to. And I'm sorry."

* * *

Will couldn't speak for a moment. She was really letting him off the hook for what he'd said to her? Before he could formulate a coherent response, he felt a hand on his arm.

"Why don't you come back to the table?" Kasey had noticed that Will was no longer acting the loner and she had kept her sights on him all evening.

All color drained from Alicia's face. "Oh, I'm sorry." She whirled around to leave before Will could stop her.

Ignoring Kasey altogether, Will followed. He caught up to her just before she entered the hotel lobby.

"Alicia, wait." This time, Will reached out to stop her and when their hands clasped, Alicia again felt an electric jolt in her arm. She turned and took her phone from Will's other hand but said nothing.

"I don't even know her. She was flirting with me earlier, but that's all…" Will's voice trailed off as a slight smile pulled at Alicia's lips.

"So I guess we're okay?" The tiny smile spread as Will grinned. "You're not going to pull the plug on us?"

"I've been waiting on this for almost twenty years. I'm not planning to screw it up now." And together they walked into the hotel bar, away from Will's friends' prying eyes and the flirtatious Kasey. They had a lot to discuss.

* * *

**Author's note**: So...that's it. I know it wrapped itself up into a too-pretty package at the end, but when I finally got around to finishing this, I was desperately in need of a happy ending. Besides, I have plenty of other one-shots in need of posting that are 100% angst. :-) Anyway, please be so kind as to leave a review if you're so obliged, and thanks for reading!


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